Chess..... MASUM 2011

Assalamualaikum..

Catur di KOSASS 26-29 Jun 2011. I have to train my skills in a very very short period. I wish to finish my simple report, but... Ok, I'll try my best to do all jobs.



Yes, chess is a JOB now. I feel hurt every time I get involve with chess.  Since...
It's like putting a fine blade into my heart.
It's like getting a vaporized acid in my chest all the time.













However, I choose to face them. It's just because of LOVE.
God, only God can help me to face them.



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Emotional and psychological T.R.A.U.M.A.

Oh..  agak berat juga lah topik entri kali nie. Demi memahami seseorang yang amat rapat dengan diri ini, plus if there are accidental readers in this blog who are seeking this topic, hopefully this will be a beneficial post (Manglish. Again. Sorry...).

• upsetting emotions
• frightening memories
• feel helpless
• sense of constant danger that you just can't kick
• feel numb, disconnected
• unable to trust another people.

Did you ever struggle some of the above experience? If you did, then you were most probably to have a psychological trauma. 

Define, what is psychological trauma?

Emotional and psychological trauma is the result of extraordinary stressful events that shatter your sense of security, making you feel helpless and vulnerable in a dangerous world. 

I'm not a specialist in this topic though.. You can read, know, learn, or understand further in trusted nonprofitable resource here.

My focus now is to emphasize the seriousness of traumatic experiences here. When the trauma you experienced is so overwhelming that you  find that you can't move on, or never feel normal again, then you may be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PSTD).

Symtoms...

Depression, hopeless, feeling alienated and alone, suicidal thoughts and feelings, 
physical aches and pains, 
lost of interest in activities and life in general, 
nightmares, 
avoiding places, activities, thoughts and feelings that remind you the trauma,
and limited sense of future (tak expect pun nak berkerja, kahwin, atau hidup macam orang normal, senang citer... tak fikir masa depan dah. :|   )

Treatment? Therapy.

For muslims..... dzikrullah (read: remembering Allah), hear what God wants to tell you (through reading and understand Quran), pray (because Allah always listens, while His creations maybe listen, maybe don't care though) are sufficiently good therapy approaches. 

InsyaAllah, the close person will recover the traumatic experience as time passes. 

Who is the 'close person'? May be a male or female, maybe me. 

Applied HAZOP Study Workshop & Remember-Forget

LEtih, tapi berbaloi... untuk sesiapa yang related dengan process safety, HAZOP study memang tersangatlah penting.... Pastikan redundancy system untuk sesuatu equipment tu lengkap dengan mengambil kira semua kemungkinan HAZARD yang akan berlaku. Masih ingat peristiwa letupan reaktor2 nuklear di Fukushima Daiichi? Baca di sini dan sini.

Pastinya saya mahu aplikasikan ilmu yang saya dapat di bengkel tu dalam projek saye seterusnya. :)





Remember-Forget Quote

Teringat quote dari tmblr seseorang:

We always forget what we should remember and remember what we should forget.

Huh.. Memang betul pun.

Semoga Tuhan berikan diri ini kekuatan, ketenangan dan kebijaksanaan dalam menempuh kehidupan di dunia nie. Tiada daya dan upaya melainkan dari Allah s.w.t.

.........memujuk hati ini, saya selalu berkata dalam hati - percaya dan yakin, dunia nie hanyalah sementara..

Smile and Silence

Huu... Presentation semalam, memang saya senyum je sepanjang masa. Sebab langsung tak bersedia. At least, sekarang dah tahu macam mane nak prepare slide untuk projek simulation... :)

Plus, my supervisor surprisingly didn't mad at all??

Moral of the story:

1. Siapkan kerja awal2, jangan tangguh2.

2. Yakin pada diri sendiri. Convince the audience??? <--sila baca tanpa tanda soal. :p

3. Alihkan semua masalah yang melanda jiwa/dalam kepala, fokus sepenuhnya pada kerja semasa a.k.a presentation.. <-- .......

Mm... saya terjumpa satu Quote yang menarik dari FB. (FB sekarang banyak mempengaruhi gaya hidup orang ramai, termasuk diri sendiri. Tanya diri sendiri, berapa jam sehari mengadap FACEBOOK?)

Silence and Smile are two powerful tools. Smile is the way to solve many problems & Silence is the way to avoid many problems...

Meyda

Journal, Journal, Journals.

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A little bit of regret to start fractionation.. late at 3 PM.

This evening, I'll go out with my family. :)

I'm broke.

Out of topic? Ok, ok. I need to read journals about process intensification. What on earth is process intensification?

Improving myself (part 1)

At first, forgive my broken english but still, I want to write in English to train myself to write fluently. I'm quite shy to write in Bahasa because of melancholic or jiwang words that would appear and I rather put it in my hidden diary.

My soul need to be cured heavily with zikir and Quran and do'a. Only by doing this way, I will feel calm, cured and have patience. Songs, spending time with friends, get busy.. these didn't really solve the calamity inside me.

Plus, I really wanna change my life. Some people said, just be yourself. Well, this is myself, who always want to improve herself, especially what's inside her mind and her heart. To world, I'm nobody and I feel comfortable of it...because maybe I'm better just to be an observer.

Targets of these 2 months to be achieved, InsyaAllah.

1. wanna loss some weight, at the same time get physically active.

2. complete a proposal of desired research route.

Actually, I wanted to complete this within this week. Hmm... wasted too much time.

In order to recover this, I'll stop playing cityville (the only online game I played currently),

and also allow myself to surf facebook only for 1 hour, at night (terribly addicted. Sigh.)

ok, that's sufficiently enough. Get focused.

p/s: Bonsai... slowly died after somebody hang the washed clothes at the top of them. Very clever. I think it's my fault to place them there.

Meyda

When I'm alone.

Menu untuk bukak puasa hari nie:

Bubur ayam (modified), nasi goreng ayam (+smbal aym merah + sos thai), epal 3 biji, susu low fat + bijirin...

Pergh... Melantak ke? Macam x habis je...

Jap.. minum susu atau teh? Baik buat sekarang, dah nak azan maghrib dah nie.

Semuanya dalam kuantiti sikit drpd yang dibayangkan. Kecuali epal.

...and I'm alone without room mate now. Kalau tak, leh kita kongsi, room mate.

p/s: dah makan banyak, rajin2 buat kerja mida. Ok!

p/s/s: Malam jumaat... "When you want God to talk to you, read Quran."

Meyda

My current progress? .....

....Hilang.

Mode gila2: dah lama dah off sejak April tahun lepas.

Mode serius: in progress...

Ok, teruk habis kot xde progress nie... Hmm....

Pergi lah depan supervisor. "dr., saya xde idea." Confirm lah kena marah teruk2... Huhu..

Pergilah Pulau Kapas ke, Bukit Broga ke... Universal Studio ke... Gunung Kinabalu ke...

Kalau x bangkit2 juga semangat dari dalam diri sendiri, x jalan juge.

'Makan dalam?'

Ada yang menganggap hidup ini hanyalah lawak jenaka. Ada juga yang rasa sebaliknya.

Bagi diri ini, hidup ini hanyalah mimpi sebelum menghadapi realiti saat kita terjaga dari tidur nanti.

Jangan putus asa, Hamidah... Bermohon pada Tuhan agar ditenangkan jiwa, dikuatkan semangat, diberikan kekuatan, kebijaksanaan untuk menempuh liku-liku kehidupan di dunia ini.

Ingatlah, diri ini masih ada tanggungjawab berkaitan dengan orang lain yang perlu dibuat juge.

Meyda

Bulan Muharram & Tahun Baru Kalendar Gregory

Mida: 'Gajah terbang dengan ape?'

Agnes: 'Dengan belalai?'

Mida: 'Tak, dengan susah-payahnya.'

Hehe.. masih ingat dialog ni masa belajar final year. Teka-teki ni dah lama, tapi tak dapat jangka yang Agnes akan ketawa besar masa tu...

'..dengan susah-payahnya.'

Bukan senang nak berpuasa sunat kalau tak biasa dan selalu buat. Tapi tak mustahil... 10 Muharram 1432 dah pun berlalu. Masih ada baki hari dalam Muharram tahun ini. Ayuh, Mida!

Dipetik dari website tazkirah (kat facebook, cari profile Tazkirah):

Dari Abu Hurairah r.a. katanya Rasulullah s.a.w. bersabda, "Seutama-utama sesudah puasa bulan Ramadhan ialah puasa bulan Muharram dan seutama-utama solat sesudah solat fardu ialah solat malam". (Sahih Muslim)

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New year... apabila ku terbaca tazkirah hari nie, baru tahu sejarah Gregorian Calendar (kat wikipedia ada sejarah nie). Fahamilah ayat ini.

"Orang-orang Yahudi dan Nasrani tidak akan senang kepada kamu sehingga kamu mengikuti agama mereka". (Al-Baqarah: 120).